Congratulations, Procrastinator Extraordinaire!
Certification number: 123456
Certification Date: Yesterday, probably
Level of Procrastination Achieved: 99%+ (we're not really sure, we were too busy watching cat videos)
Certified By: The Procrastination Council of Extreme Experts (PCEE)
Special Abilities:
- Expert-level ability to open tabs without closing any of them
- Mastered the art of making excuses for why the deadline isn't really a deadline
- Can craft a 20-minute conversation around a single sentence
Recommended Uses for Certified Procrastinators:
- Creating an extensive To-Do list that never gets done
- Developing an impressive collection of dust bunnies under the couch
- Mastering the art of playing video games for 12 hours straight
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